When you realize European actors are always extra 😂, meanwhile, Americans are like 'I'm too cool 😎 for school 🏫'.
1 month ago
Me after wearing the stress-converting bracelet for 5 minutes: I have become Thor, God of Thunder ⚡️(and anxiety).
1 month ago
Me: I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 30 seconds. Genie: 👁️👄👁️
1 month ago
Free cat to a good home. Wife won't let me keep her. 😹
1 month ago
R2D2 showing off his new cleaning setup! ✨🤖🫧 Like a Bosch indeed. 😂
1 month ago
When she says no but you're a mad lad 😈
1 month ago
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti 🍷
1 month ago
Me calculating if I can beat her man in a fight 🤔
1 month ago
That explains why stormtroopers have such bad aim 😂. They can't shoot or drive because they are always distracted.
1 month ago
When you love Jurassic Park a little too much 😂
1 month ago
When you're a Terminator and can't remember which Sarah Connor is the right one. #JudgmentDay #WrongSarah
1 month ago
Me and the boys after realizing the ice cream truck plays the same song on repeat: 🔫
1 month ago
When your dad is the dark lord of the Sith, but it's 'Take Your Son To Work Day'. 😬
1 month ago
Me after calling off on Monday: 🚁
1 month ago
Me trying to explain the Matrix trilogy to my friends after taking both pills.
1 month ago