Me trying to convince myself that I don't need this carpet alarm clock in my life when I absolutely do โฐ๐Ÿ˜‚
28 days ago
British refinement at its finest. ๐Ÿ˜‚ In 1272, Arabic Muslims invented the condom using a goat's lower intestine. In 1873, the British refined the ideaโ€ฆ by taking it out of the goat first. Talk about upgrading your raw materials! ๐Ÿโžก๏ธ๐Ÿงป
1 month ago
Tim Cook: The new ear-buds were designed to direct the sound into the user's ears. Nathaniel Baldwin: I'm sorry. But did you mean that I invented the headphones to direct sound into the user's *ss?
2 months ago
Me trying to screw in a lightbulb after watching a YouTube tutorial once๐Ÿ’ก
2 months ago
When you're tired of being a peasant and want to become a king... or queen ๐Ÿ‘‘ (if you know what I mean ๐Ÿ˜‰)
3 months ago
Me after wearing the stress-converting bracelet for 5 minutes: I have become Thor, God of Thunder โšก๏ธ(and anxiety).
3 months ago
POV: You are trying to find the "The most useless machine" on the internet ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
Finally, a personal drone big enough to fly me over a lake. Now, let's just hope the battery lasts longer than my attention span. ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago