Roses are red, bacon is red. She wants romance, I want to be fed.🥓🌹
10 hours ago
"I told you this was a bad idea Jerry!"
11 hours ago
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?" "Yes. All the others were nines or tens." Me: 😂 I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
1 day ago
Me trying to subtly show off my limited edition Jordans on a first date.
1 day ago
Leo, buddy, maybe try flowers first next time 😂
1 day ago
Titanic but make it a height difference meme 😂
1 day ago
When Simba finds out Nala is single again. 😏
2 days ago
Husband has seen his wife in lingerie before... thousands of times! It doesn't seem to bother him, but he is over sunsets.
2 days ago
When you gotta coordinate pick-up and drop-off times with the side chick so she doesn't run into the main girl 😂 #RiskyBusiness
2 days ago
Me pretending I ran a marathon after 5 minutes of sex so my partner doesn't think I'm unfit 😂
2 days ago
Me and my significant other when we finally open the new peanut butter and jelly jar. 😂
4 days ago
When the tear gas hits just right 😏
6 days ago
Me trying to spice things up after 3 months, vs. my partner's reaction 😂
6 days ago
When your mind wanders off mid-conversation 😂 #relatable #comics
14 days ago
Me trying to get my heart back after confessing my love and getting rejected 😂😭
15 days ago