Me trying to have a productive day when my brain has other plans ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
164
When they know your weakness is crispy bacon 🥓💸
When they know your weakness is crispy bacon ๐Ÿฅ“๐Ÿ’ธ
1 year ago
192
When your hair reaches new heights, and so does your squad's rockabilly style! 🎸🤘
When your hair reaches new heights, and so does your squad's rockabilly style! ๐ŸŽธ๐Ÿค˜
1 year ago
215
When you accidentally expose your priorities while trying to appear offended 😂 #iPhonePriorities #CouldntResist
When you accidentally expose your priorities while trying to appear offended ๐Ÿ˜‚ #iPhonePriorities #CouldntResist
1 year ago
146
Paying your son to farm gold in WoW is basically like paying him to mow the lawn... in Azeroth.  Is it wrong? Probably not. Does your wife understand? Definitely not.  Just tell her it's 'character development'. 😂
Paying your son to farm gold in WoW is basically like paying him to mow the lawn... in Azeroth. Is it wrong? Probably not. Does your wife understand? Definitely not. Just tell her it's 'character development'. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
193
My mother-in-law threw "The Exorcist" into the ocean because it was too evil. So naturally, I bought another copy, made it damp, and left it in her nightstand.😈
My mother-in-law threw "The Exorcist" into the ocean because it was too evil. So naturally, I bought another copy, made it damp, and left it in her nightstand.๐Ÿ˜ˆ
1 year ago
171
Me trying to explain to the officer that if he caught me speeding, he was also speeding 😂
Me trying to explain to the officer that if he caught me speeding, he was also speeding ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
150
When your ex is a nurse and they get to stitch you up after surgery 😂
When your ex is a nurse and they get to stitch you up after surgery ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
147
My wife was sad, so I showed her my boobs. Apparently, that doesn't work both ways. 😂 #marriagehumor #genderroles #relatable
My wife was sad, so I showed her my boobs. Apparently, that doesn't work both ways. ๐Ÿ˜‚ #marriagehumor #genderroles #relatable
1 year ago
161
When you get thrown back and start telling everyone about the bright light and the probing 👽🎣
When you get thrown back and start telling everyone about the bright light and the probing ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐ŸŽฃ
1 year ago
99
Me trying to meditate for 5 seconds before remembering all the shit I have to do today 😂
Me trying to meditate for 5 seconds before remembering all the shit I have to do today ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
165
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti 🍷
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti ๐Ÿท
1 year ago
106
Me trying to apply math problems to real life 😂
Me trying to apply math problems to real life ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
144
Nailed it! Just not the landing. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
151
POV: You're a penguin realizing the beach isn't a giant snow pile and you're hundreds of miles off course 🐧🏖️
POV: You're a penguin realizing the beach isn't a giant snow pile and you're hundreds of miles off course ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ–๏ธ
1 year ago
172