Making jokes about dead babies = bad. Actually making dead babies = okay. 🤔 So, what's the difference again? 💀
Making jokes about dead babies = bad. Actually making dead babies = okay. ๐Ÿค” So, what's the difference again? ๐Ÿ’€
10 months ago
11
Me trying to find a sperm bank that also has frozen yogurt: 🍦🤰
Me trying to find a sperm bank that also has frozen yogurt: ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿคฐ
10 months ago
1
When you're Hitler's bodyguard and you hear a BZZZZAP outside his door at 3 AM: 👁️👄👁️
When you're Hitler's bodyguard and you hear a BZZZZAP outside his door at 3 AM: ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
10 months ago
6
When you accidentally order your rifle from Wish.com
When you accidentally order your rifle from Wish.com
10 months ago
6
When you realize you're part of the Empire and lose all the time. 😭
When you realize you're part of the Empire and lose all the time. ๐Ÿ˜ญ
10 months ago
7
When your hallucinations start hallucinating about hallucinating. It's hallucinations all the way down. 😂
When your hallucinations start hallucinating about hallucinating. It's hallucinations all the way down. ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 months ago
10
Immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in, but only one works. 😂
Immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in, but only one works. ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 months ago
9
Facebook board meeting: "Mark, Google+ is taking all our users! What do we do?!" 
Mark: "😈 Fuck up the chat system. 😈"
Facebook board meeting: "Mark, Google+ is taking all our users! What do we do?!" Mark: "๐Ÿ˜ˆ Fuck up the chat system. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ"
10 months ago
5
When the lighting is just right... or should I say, just wrong? 😂
When the lighting is just right... or should I say, just wrong? ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 months ago
5
Dads when their sons experiment vs. when their daughters do 😱
Dads when their sons experiment vs. when their daughters do ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
10 months ago
6
Me after eating an entire cake and rationalizing it by remembering how insignificant we all are in the grand scheme of the universe 😂
Me after eating an entire cake and rationalizing it by remembering how insignificant we all are in the grand scheme of the universe ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 months ago
5
Me trying to explain the Matrix trilogy to my friends after taking both pills.
Me trying to explain the Matrix trilogy to my friends after taking both pills.
10 months ago
6
Me after calling off on Monday: ๐Ÿš
10 months ago
2
Me and the boys after realizing the ice cream truck plays the same song on repeat: ๐Ÿ”ซ
10 months ago
8
Me and the boys about to become a smoothie. 💀
Me and the boys about to become a smoothie. ๐Ÿ’€
10 months ago
3