I'd tell heaven an angel is missing, but I hope you're just a slut ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
9 months ago
7
When you wish upon a star ๐ŸŒŸ...or in this case, a magic lamp ๐Ÿงžโ€โ™‚๏ธ. Be careful what you wish for, kids! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Especially if you're wishing to be Batman at your birthday party. Always specify which Batman! #DarkHumor #BirthdayFails
9 months ago
2
Choosing the right woman is hard. 18 year old: easily impressed. Girls your age: constantly complaining. Older women: higher sex drive. Decisions, decisions ๐Ÿค”
9 months ago
4
If guns cause crime, then spoons make people fat, and pencils misspell words. Let's be real, it's not the tools, it's the choices people make! ๐Ÿค”
9 months ago
4
๐Ÿคฏ When you realize Aladdin might be a post-apocalyptic future and the Genie is just vibing with ancient memes ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
6
Freddie Mercury riding Darth Vader like a boss during a Queen concert. The force is strong with this one! ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
5
When you and your roommate can't agree on which way the stairs should go ๐Ÿ˜‚ #compromise #stairsofconfusion
9 months ago
3
When the architect says "I've got an idea for the fire escape" ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
4
Me trying to keep up with my history professor after they said the broomstick wasn't a broomstick.
9 months ago
7
When you troll Phil Collins fans on Facebook by posting "RIP" and they start posting condolences before checking the news ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
4
When you can't afford all four wheels, but still need to get to work
9 months ago
3
When the genie gives you two great options, but you forget which one you chose ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
3
Me trying to find something interesting to read while using the bathroom: *Picks up shampoo bottle and starts reading ingredients* Yes...yes...quite fascinating indeed...
9 months ago
7
Me and my imaginary partner locking in our love forever.๐Ÿ”‘โค๏ธ
9 months ago
6
My Facebook fact-checker must have gone on vacation because my posts are getting WILD! ๐Ÿ˜‚ #FacebookJail #FactCheckFail
9 months ago
6