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I'd tell heaven an angel is missing, but I hope you're just a slut 😈
9 months ago
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When you wish upon a star 🌟...or in this case, a magic lamp 🧞♂️. Be careful what you wish for, kids! 😂 Especially if you're wishing to be Batman at your birthday party. Always specify which Batman! #DarkHumor #BirthdayFails
9 months ago
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Choosing the right woman is hard. 18 year old: easily impressed. Girls your age: constantly complaining. Older women: higher sex drive. Decisions, decisions 🤔
9 months ago
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If guns cause crime, then spoons make people fat, and pencils misspell words. Let's be real, it's not the tools, it's the choices people make! 🤔
9 months ago
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🤯 When you realize Aladdin might be a post-apocalyptic future and the Genie is just vibing with ancient memes 😂
9 months ago
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Freddie Mercury riding Darth Vader like a boss during a Queen concert. The force is strong with this one! 😂
9 months ago
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When you and your roommate can't agree on which way the stairs should go 😂 #compromise #stairsofconfusion
9 months ago
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When the architect says "I've got an idea for the fire escape" 🤔😂
9 months ago
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Me trying to keep up with my history professor after they said the broomstick wasn't a broomstick.
9 months ago
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When you troll Phil Collins fans on Facebook by posting "RIP" and they start posting condolences before checking the news 😂
9 months ago
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When you can't afford all four wheels, but still need to get to work
9 months ago
3
When the genie gives you two great options, but you forget which one you chose 😂
9 months ago
3
Me trying to find something interesting to read while using the bathroom:
*Picks up shampoo bottle and starts reading ingredients*
Yes...yes...quite fascinating indeed...
9 months ago
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Me and my imaginary partner locking in our love forever.🔑❤️
9 months ago
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My Facebook fact-checker must have gone on vacation because my posts are getting WILD! 😂 #FacebookJail #FactCheckFail
9 months ago
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