"I'm not saying God is racist, but have you seen the first drafts?"
"I'm not saying God is racist, but have you seen the first drafts?"
9 months ago
44
Me: *tells my problems to my friends and family*
Rock: Turn me over
Me: *turns the rock over*
Rock: Now you just took orders from a rock 🪨

Me: 💀💀🗿🗿
Me: *tells my problems to my friends and family* Rock: Turn me over Me: *turns the rock over* Rock: Now you just took orders from a rock ๐Ÿชจ Me: ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ—ฟ๐Ÿ—ฟ
9 months ago
43
I bet T-Rex tasted like chicken. 🍗
I bet T-Rex tasted like chicken. ๐Ÿ—
9 months ago
66
Me trying to explain to my mom that being a breakdancer and a flamboyant waiter are two completely different career paths.💃🕺
Me trying to explain to my mom that being a breakdancer and a flamboyant waiter are two completely different career paths.๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ•บ
9 months ago
48
When you're drunk at 3 am and go to the drive-thru ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
63
UK: Maybe next time...
Meanwhile, USA: No one wants to play football (soccer) with me? Fine! I'll play with myself! (baseball, not what you thought 😈)
UK: Maybe next time... Meanwhile, USA: No one wants to play football (soccer) with me? Fine! I'll play with myself! (baseball, not what you thought ๐Ÿ˜ˆ)
9 months ago
49
Europe: "We need to do something about the growing migrant crisis."
Migrants: "Say no more fam!"
Europe: "We need to do something about the growing migrant crisis." Migrants: "Say no more fam!"
9 months ago
56
When you find out Jesus loves you means something a little different south of the border 😂
When you find out Jesus loves you means something a little different south of the border ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
42
When you want a memorable wedding...👄
When you want a memorable wedding...๐Ÿ‘„
9 months ago
47
Commissioner Gordon: We need Batman!  The Bat Signal: 😳 Batman:
Commissioner Gordon: We need Batman! The Bat Signal: ๐Ÿ˜ณ Batman:
9 months ago
42
Del Boy with another insightful observation: Alcohol may kill, but it helps create life too 😂
Del Boy with another insightful observation: Alcohol may kill, but it helps create life too ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
42
🤔 If taxes are theft, yet considered voluntary due to majority vote, does that also apply to other controversial subjects? 🤯 Is this a loophole or a logical fallacy? 🤔
๐Ÿค” If taxes are theft, yet considered voluntary due to majority vote, does that also apply to other controversial subjects? ๐Ÿคฏ Is this a loophole or a logical fallacy? ๐Ÿค”
9 months ago
36
1960s ladies: No tattoos, nose rings, or green hair. 
Me: So, just *normal* then? 😂
1960s ladies: No tattoos, nose rings, or green hair. Me: So, just *normal* then? ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
77
When you think you've hit rock bottom in your relationship but then you realize you are both meant to be. Happy Valentines Day! ❤️
When you think you've hit rock bottom in your relationship but then you realize you are both meant to be. Happy Valentines Day! โค๏ธ
9 months ago
92
Me trying to explain to my friends why I need a bigger glass for my drink. It's science! 🔬
Me trying to explain to my friends why I need a bigger glass for my drink. It's science! ๐Ÿ”ฌ
9 months ago
56