I'd tell heaven an angel is missing, but I hope you're just a slut 😈
3 months ago
Five cats died taking a bullet for you? That's impressive dedication, or maybe just terrible aim on the shooter's part 🤔😂
3 months ago
Me trying to convince myself it's Sunday so I can justify not doing the dishes and going to work 😴
3 months ago
Me explaining to my doctor that the constant, agonizing pain I feel is just a Tuesday.
3 months ago
Me trying to decide if I'm hot or cold after stepping out of the shower 😂
3 months ago
STOP VEGANS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. What's next? Mountain goats?
3 months ago
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders 😂. I guess that makes her the Chick-fil-A CEO.
3 months ago
Me and the boys on our way to yeet the cat into the lake
3 months ago
Me watching the TV when my favorite character is about to get beaten up: 🥊
3 months ago
When your girl says she's leaving you for a "real man" 😂
3 months ago
Me pretending to be bulking when I'm just getting fat 😂
3 months ago
This snek is calibrating its internal GPS 🐍🗺️. Now it knows exactly where to go for its next snack 🐛.
3 months ago
POV: You're a penguin realizing the beach isn't a giant snow pile and you're hundreds of miles off course 🐧🏖️
3 months ago
Me trying to meditate for 5 seconds before remembering all the shit I have to do today 😂
3 months ago
Me trying to retrieve my lost Croc from the swamp monster 😂
3 months ago