Obama: My grandpappy rode a bicycle during the second great bicycle war, and he got two flat tires, but he kept going. McCain, Bush, and Perry thinking: That's cute.
2 months ago
Protesters using the advanced 'cat's cradle' technique to confuse and entrap the riot police 😂
2 months ago
When you accidentally become a symbol of hope and freedom after burning books, banning music, hating blacks and murdering gays 😬
2 months ago
When you and your friend are both running for class president and only one of you can win 😂
2 months ago
If abortion is murder, then my ex owes me a LOT of prison time for all those blowjobs.
2 months ago
When the dictionary changes its definition of words every 5 minutes 😂 #Confused
2 months ago
One gives away corporate secrets for free and is the villain. The other gives away your secrets for money and is man of the year. 🤔
2 months ago
Me pretending to be a Jedi when the cops start using tear gas 😂
2 months ago
Why did the police officer cross the road? To beat the chicken for being black. 🐔🚓
2 months ago
Me after seeing how high the gas prices are these days ⛽💸
2 months ago
Big Pharma be like: "So, you want the *natural* herb? Illegal. You want the one we made in a lab with a bunch of extra ingredients? That'll be $10,000, please. 💊💰"
2 months ago
Honey, woke is when you mix equality with a sprinkle of delusion and a whole lotta denial. 😂
2 months ago
Elon Musk to Trump: "No, seriously, tell them it's a good idea to jump."
2 months ago
Democrats performing CPR on Racism: "Don't you die on me, you bastard! We still need to use you!"
2 months ago
Trump: "No one is above the law." Inner Donkey: "Oh no, he's going to say it!" DOJ: "Don't you dare..." 😂
2 months ago