Me and my husband haven't slept since Saturday because we made a pact to never go to bed angry. It's Wednesday, send coffee and backup.
Me and my husband haven't slept since Saturday because we made a pact to never go to bed angry. It's Wednesday, send coffee and backup.
1 year ago
123
When your ex's new boyfriend asks how the "used goods" are, but you're packing more than just two inches. 😏
When your ex's new boyfriend asks how the "used goods" are, but you're packing more than just two inches. ๐Ÿ˜
1 year ago
179
She wasn't mad about the photo. She's jealous that the dog has a nicer car than her 🚗😂
She wasn't mad about the photo. She's jealous that the dog has a nicer car than her ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
193
She said, if you get a tattoo of my initial, I’ll go out with you. Now I’m single with a permanent ‘K’ on my wrist. 😭
She said, if you get a tattoo of my initial, Iโ€™ll go out with you. Now Iโ€™m single with a permanent โ€˜Kโ€™ on my wrist. ๐Ÿ˜ญ
1 year ago
205
"How to start flirting with a woman" 
Step 1: Approach with confidence 
Step 2: Gently tap her with your foot to get her attention
Step 3: Run🏃‍♂️💨
"How to start flirting with a woman" Step 1: Approach with confidence Step 2: Gently tap her with your foot to get her attention Step 3: Run๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ
1 year ago
130
Guess he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment 😂 #ByeFelicia #PregnancyScare #SeeYaLater
Guess he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment ๐Ÿ˜‚ #ByeFelicia #PregnancyScare #SeeYaLater
1 year ago
182
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?" 
"Yes. All the others were nines or tens." 
Me: 😂 I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?" "Yes. All the others were nines or tens." Me: ๐Ÿ˜‚ I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
1 year ago
207
This guy deserves an award for the greatest comeback ever 😂
This guy deserves an award for the greatest comeback ever ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
109
Self-defense for women 101 😂. Step 1: Assume a guarded stance. Step 2: Begin discussing commitment. Step 3: Watch as male flees in terror. Works every time! 😉
Self-defense for women 101 ๐Ÿ˜‚. Step 1: Assume a guarded stance. Step 2: Begin discussing commitment. Step 3: Watch as male flees in terror. Works every time! ๐Ÿ˜‰
1 year ago
117
When your wife says "Tie me to the bed and do whatever you want" and you take her literally 😂
When your wife says "Tie me to the bed and do whatever you want" and you take her literally ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
115
My girlfriend is like my life... I don't have one 😂
My girlfriend is like my life... I don't have one ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
111
Me trying to carefully approach my wife after I left the toilet seat up.
Me trying to carefully approach my wife after I left the toilet seat up.
1 year ago
204
When your girlfriend's solo pics get way more likes than your couple pics, but you know the real ones are coming to the wedding 😂
When your girlfriend's solo pics get way more likes than your couple pics, but you know the real ones are coming to the wedding ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
177
When you gotta coordinate pick-up and drop-off times with the side chick so she doesn't run into the main girl 😂 #RiskyBusiness
When you gotta coordinate pick-up and drop-off times with the side chick so she doesn't run into the main girl ๐Ÿ˜‚ #RiskyBusiness
1 year ago
205
Me trying to be mature and break up with someone nicely vs. me 5 minutes later realizing they don't care 😂
Me trying to be mature and break up with someone nicely vs. me 5 minutes later realizing they don't care ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
177