Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web.  🐸💻🌌
Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web. ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ’ป๐ŸŒŒ
1 year ago
253
When new beginnings get an extra flush of blessings 🚽🎉🙏
When new beginnings get an extra flush of blessings ๐Ÿšฝ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ™
1 year ago
254
The one thing that can bring any man back from the edge. Priorities are straight. 😂
The one thing that can bring any man back from the edge. Priorities are straight. ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
316
When you have more MacBooks than sense 😂. That's a whole lotta Apple in one place! #Macstack #AppleHoarder
When you have more MacBooks than sense ๐Ÿ˜‚. That's a whole lotta Apple in one place! #Macstack #AppleHoarder
1 year ago
214
This husband chose violence and self-destruction, and we must respect the commitment. 💀
This husband chose violence and self-destruction, and we must respect the commitment. ๐Ÿ’€
10 months ago
311
Me trying to save a photo after my phone's camera roll gets full: vintage filter + helvetica font = masterpiece ✨
Me trying to save a photo after my phone's camera roll gets full: vintage filter + helvetica font = masterpiece โœจ
1 year ago
214
Me pretending to be friendly and then showing my true colors 😂
Me pretending to be friendly and then showing my true colors ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
136
When you take 'stairway to heaven' a bit too literally 😂🚧
When you take 'stairway to heaven' a bit too literally ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿšง
1 year ago
231
Day of the Tentacle: Now with 100% more tentacle.
Day of the Tentacle: Now with 100% more tentacle.
1 year ago
221
Me when the teacher says the pledge of allegiance is voluntary and asks what country we want to move to if we don’t like America: 🇺🇸🦅
Me when the teacher says the pledge of allegiance is voluntary and asks what country we want to move to if we donโ€™t like America: ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿฆ…
1 year ago
136
He tried to hit his dad with the uno reverse card dad joke and got completely obliterated. 💀
He tried to hit his dad with the uno reverse card dad joke and got completely obliterated. ๐Ÿ’€
7 months ago
274
What society thinks we do: *crickets*.  Just kidding, we're actually running a Fortune 500 company in our heads while simultaneously composing a symphony and designing a self-folding laundry system.
What society thinks we do: *crickets*. Just kidding, we're actually running a Fortune 500 company in our heads while simultaneously composing a symphony and designing a self-folding laundry system.
1 year ago
236
Never date a girl who works at Subway! She knows what a real 6" looks like 😂
Never date a girl who works at Subway! She knows what a real 6" looks like ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
211
When she asks what you're into, but your true passion is food. A man of simple pleasures. 🍔
When she asks what you're into, but your true passion is food. A man of simple pleasures. ๐Ÿ”
6 months ago
204
When you are losing and suddenly remember you have acting classes after the match ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
377