My brain's two settings: 'Don't do the thing' and 'Feel bad for not doing the thing'. 🫠
My brain's two settings: 'Don't do the thing' and 'Feel bad for not doing the thing'. ๐Ÿซ 
9 months ago
139
When your keyboard's spacebar takes you on a journey through the universe! 🚀🌌
When your keyboard's spacebar takes you on a journey through the universe! ๐Ÿš€๐ŸŒŒ
9 months ago
162
Me trying to escape the family gathering after my aunt asks me about my love life.
Me trying to escape the family gathering after my aunt asks me about my love life.
1 year ago
129
Me calculating how fast I can get undressed after a long day: 🏃‍♀️💨
Me calculating how fast I can get undressed after a long day: ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ
11 months ago
172
Me refreshing Twitter waiting to be told what I'm offended by today 😂
Me refreshing Twitter waiting to be told what I'm offended by today ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
64
When you gotta go, you gotta go! Even stormtroopers have their limits ๐Ÿ˜‚ #StarWars #Shitpost #MayTheForceBeWithYourBladder
1 year ago
113
When ignoring scientists is a recipe... for a blockbuster! 🎬🧑‍🔬
When ignoring scientists is a recipe... for a blockbuster! ๐ŸŽฌ๐Ÿง‘โ€๐Ÿ”ฌ
1 year ago
133
My biggest financial regret? Not liquidating my Pokémon card collection to buy real estate during the 2008 crash. 🤦‍♂️
My biggest financial regret? Not liquidating my Pokรฉmon card collection to buy real estate during the 2008 crash. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ
6 months ago
157
When you realize being the new chef at an Indian restaurant means you control the spice... and therefore the UNIVERSE!! 🌌👨‍🍳🌶️
When you realize being the new chef at an Indian restaurant means you control the spice... and therefore the UNIVERSE!! ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ
1 year ago
128
The Venn diagram that proves philosophy, toddlers, and 90s pop have everything in common. Tell me why!
The Venn diagram that proves philosophy, toddlers, and 90s pop have everything in common. Tell me why!
7 months ago
102
Me trying to convince myself that bacon is healthy🥓
Me trying to convince myself that bacon is healthy๐Ÿฅ“
1 year ago
85
Me trying to hold my life together and then one minor inconvenience happens.
9 months ago
143
When your left brain tries to calculate the trajectory of your right brain's paintbrush mid-splatter 😂
When your left brain tries to calculate the trajectory of your right brain's paintbrush mid-splatter ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
114
When your mom says you can pick any restaurant for your birthday dinner.
When your mom says you can pick any restaurant for your birthday dinner.
1 year ago
122
When your kid draws Jabba the Hutt better than you ever could. 😂
When your kid draws Jabba the Hutt better than you ever could. ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
129