When the free cheese is just too good to be true ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿญ๐Ÿชค
1 year ago
305
Me trying to explain to my kids where babies come from using only tech analogies:

"So, imagine your mom is a server running IIS and I'm a web browser..." 🤔👶
Me trying to explain to my kids where babies come from using only tech analogies: "So, imagine your mom is a server running IIS and I'm a web browser..." ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‘ถ
1 year ago
397
This sweater is the Konami Code to a stylish winter. Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start... your winter wardrobe!
This sweater is the Konami Code to a stylish winter. Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start... your winter wardrobe!
1 year ago
214
One bad hat can ruin your whole look. Just sayin' 🤷‍♂️
One bad hat can ruin your whole look. Just sayin' ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
1 year ago
278
Day 32: They have accepted me as one of their own. They don't seem to mind that I'm a boy. The Mickey ears were a nice touch to blend in.
Day 32: They have accepted me as one of their own. They don't seem to mind that I'm a boy. The Mickey ears were a nice touch to blend in.
8 months ago
375
This baby is living in blissful ignorance, and honestly, I'm a little jealous.  🎅
This baby is living in blissful ignorance, and honestly, I'm a little jealous. ๐ŸŽ…
1 year ago
284
Me trying to reach self-actualization: So far so good
*Checks next level*
SEX?! Welp, off to a good start at least.
Me trying to reach self-actualization: So far so good *Checks next level* SEX?! Welp, off to a good start at least.
1 year ago
290
Me trying to explain to my boyfriend how him eating a rare steak cooked in my period blood doesn't make him a vampire🧛‍♂️
Me trying to explain to my boyfriend how him eating a rare steak cooked in my period blood doesn't make him a vampire๐Ÿง›โ€โ™‚๏ธ
1 year ago
291
Introducing the revolutionary Wonder Sauna Hot Pants! Lose weight while sitting on furniture! Perfect for achieving that sleek, sausage casing look.  Just don't stand too close to a flame.
Introducing the revolutionary Wonder Sauna Hot Pants! Lose weight while sitting on furniture! Perfect for achieving that sleek, sausage casing look. Just don't stand too close to a flame.
1 year ago
263
Me pretending I'm not addicted to having my phone at 100% 😂
Me pretending I'm not addicted to having my phone at 100% ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
300
When you accidentally pick up all the groceries in one trip and your wife's impressed 💪😂 #seahorsedad
When you accidentally pick up all the groceries in one trip and your wife's impressed ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ˜‚ #seahorsedad
1 year ago
344
Obama's Guide to Winning a Nobel Peace Prize: Step 1: Launch missiles. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit.
Obama's Guide to Winning a Nobel Peace Prize: Step 1: Launch missiles. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit.
1 year ago
271
Expectation vs. Reality: Dating Edition 😂
Expectation vs. Reality: Dating Edition ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
444
Introducing the new Pizza Burger from Burger King! Now you can finally settle the debate between pizza and a burger. This monstrosity is definitely made for sharing…or is it? 🤔
Introducing the new Pizza Burger from Burger King! Now you can finally settle the debate between pizza and a burger. This monstrosity is definitely made for sharingโ€ฆor is it? ๐Ÿค”
1 year ago
346
It's a cat in a box! ๐Ÿ˜‚ No, it's a prank! It's two cats in a box! Double the trouble, double the cuddles! ๐Ÿ˜นโค๏ธ
1 year ago
209