He doesn't even know the trouble he's in. The audacity he had in my subconscious last night... 😤
1 month ago
This one simple trick will get you a peaceful night's sleep... on the couch. 🤣
1 month ago
And that, kids, is how I learned to sleep on the couch. 🤷‍♂️
3 months ago
When the WiFi signal might be weak but your defenses are strong! 😂🖥️
4 months ago
Me pretending to be sad when my wife says she's not talking to me for a month, but inside I'm doing the happy dance.🕺
6 months ago
Me, dropping the hottest take in the vegan group chat 🔥
7 months ago
Me after posting "Pineapple belongs on pizza" and turning off notifications 😈
7 months ago
Me and my husband haven't slept since Saturday because we made a pact to never go to bed angry. It's Wednesday, send coffee and backup.
7 months ago
When she says she's wrong but you still feel the tension 🤔
7 months ago
When you ask if she's retired and now need a medical retirement yourself. 😂
8 months ago
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore, so I asked her how come she gets to spend $65 on makeup. I'm pretty sure beer goggles do the same thing 🤷‍♂️
8 months ago
When logic takes a wild spin into 'faith mode' 🤔🔄⚾️
8 months ago
When you accidentally hit the ball too hard playing keep-ups with your friends 😂
8 months ago
NYC street preacher starter pack: 1) Wearing Repent Sinner t-shirt. 2) Yelling at everyone that doesn't agree with their views. 3) A crypto bro that is angry about something. 😂
8 months ago