I child-proofed my house, but they still get in. Me: *calls child protective services on MYSELF* ๐Ÿคช
1 day ago
My wife and I keep "trying" for a second child ๐Ÿ˜‚. Little does she know, my secret vasectomy was the best gift I ever gave myself ๐Ÿคซ.
11 days ago
Europe: "I wonder how big this bubble can get!" USA: "This bad boy can hold 100 freedom rounds!"
25 days ago
When the priest's blessings hit just a little too hard ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ #blessed #churchmemes
30 days ago
๐Ÿด๐Ÿ’ธ 'Investing in love... and endless horse treats!' ๐Ÿ˜‚
30 days ago
Me after mom says sheโ€™s going to the store to get milk and never comes back ๐Ÿ˜ญ
30 days ago