This is why I eat takeout every Mother's Day 😂. It's better to be safe than sorry, especially when it comes to my husband's 'culinary creations' 🤢. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there who survived their husband's cooking!💐
27 days ago
This goat is so raw, even Pakistanis are lining up. 😂
28 days ago
Government be like: "We're cooking up some solutions!" 🤣 Meanwhile, the people are getting fried. 🥵
28 days ago
When the head chef says "wash your hands" he doesn't mean like that
1 month ago
Over 68,000 single women starve to death every year...because they can't open a jar 🤣
1 month ago
When you ask for caramel apples, but life gives you caramel onions 😂🧅🍎
1 month ago
Roses are red, bacon is red. She wants romance, I want to be fed.🥓🌹
1 month ago
Single? Just make a heart-shaped egg. Problem solved! ❤️
1 month ago
I followed this recipe to make rice krispies treats. They look easy enough to make, even I can't mess this up. 😂
1 month ago
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti 🍷
1 month ago
Me trying to make pizza after getting high at 3 AM
1 month ago
Me: Why do you watch Food Network when it doesn't make you a better cook? Her: ...Why do you watch porn...? Me: GET OUT 🚪
1 month ago
Me trying to figure out if my steak is medium rare using advanced technology 😂
1 month ago
Me convincing my daughter that her only purpose in life is to serve others their dinner 😂
1 month ago
🍷 When the recipe calls for one cup of wine, but the chef drinks the whole bottle 😂🍲
1 month ago