When snowmen realize they're just pre-shredded ski slopes. ⛄️🎿
1 month ago
Germans realizing they only have to deal with two world wars now. 🎉
1 month ago
Netflix, you've got some explaining to do. Recommending "The Human Centipede" after "A Bug's Life"? 🐛➡️😱 Kids, avert your eyes! This ain't no sequel.
1 month ago
Me trying to mansplain after my bottom surgery 💅
1 month ago
Taxpayers: What is my purpose? Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles. Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
1 month ago
Me pretending to care about my dinner's feelings before I roast it: 😭
1 month ago
Me trying to understand vampire logic 😂
1 month ago
New Star Wars Action Figures. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen: Charred Remains 💀🔥. Perfect for recreating that iconic scene from A New Hope. For ages 18 and up (because it's kinda morbid 😂).
1 month ago
Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web. 🐸💻🌌
1 month ago
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
1 month ago
Me explaining to my friend why I think the Jetsons predicted a utopian future 😂
2 months ago
These cows are about to learn their fate. They are not laughing now, but they will be in stitches later. 😂
2 months ago
Africa is a great place, they have chocolate milk rivers. Reality: The rivers and other water sources are contaminated. A child has no choice to drink from wherever they can.
2 months ago
Me trying to explain to my mom why I can't just chain all the elephants together and send them to the moon 🐘🚀🌕
2 months ago
Me and my friend sharing our favorite snack
2 months ago