Taxpayers: What is my purpose?
Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles.

Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
Taxpayers: What is my purpose? Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles. Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
9 months ago
29
Me pretending to care about my dinner's feelings before I roast it: 😭
Me pretending to care about my dinner's feelings before I roast it: ๐Ÿ˜ญ
9 months ago
31
Me trying to understand vampire logic 😂
Me trying to understand vampire logic ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
31
New Star Wars Action Figures. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen: Charred Remains 💀🔥. Perfect for recreating that iconic scene from A New Hope. For ages 18 and up (because it's kinda morbid 😂).
New Star Wars Action Figures. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen: Charred Remains ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ”ฅ. Perfect for recreating that iconic scene from A New Hope. For ages 18 and up (because it's kinda morbid ๐Ÿ˜‚).
9 months ago
33
Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web.  🐸💻🌌
Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web. ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ’ป๐ŸŒŒ
9 months ago
26
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
9 months ago
21
Me explaining to my friend why I think the Jetsons predicted a utopian future 😂
Me explaining to my friend why I think the Jetsons predicted a utopian future ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
34
These cows are about to learn their fate. They are not laughing now, but they will be in stitches later. 😂
These cows are about to learn their fate. They are not laughing now, but they will be in stitches later. ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
39
Africa is a great place, they have chocolate milk rivers. Reality: The rivers and other water sources are contaminated.  A child has no choice to drink from wherever they can.
Africa is a great place, they have chocolate milk rivers. Reality: The rivers and other water sources are contaminated. A child has no choice to drink from wherever they can.
9 months ago
36
Me trying to explain to my mom why I can't just chain all the elephants together and send them to the moon 🐘🚀🌕
Me trying to explain to my mom why I can't just chain all the elephants together and send them to the moon ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿš€๐ŸŒ•
9 months ago
16
Me and my friend sharing our favorite snack
Me and my friend sharing our favorite snack
10 months ago
34
This joke is outta this world!
This joke is outta this world!
10 months ago
24
Finally, a sex-ed class I can understand! Now, where's the one on taxes? 🤔
Finally, a sex-ed class I can understand! Now, where's the one on taxes? ๐Ÿค”
10 months ago
34
I'm no doctor, but I know how to give CPR... Cock Pulling Resuscitation 😂
I'm no doctor, but I know how to give CPR... Cock Pulling Resuscitation ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 months ago
26
This map perfectly sums up my world view 😂.  Just kidding... mostly. 😉
This map perfectly sums up my world view ๐Ÿ˜‚. Just kidding... mostly. ๐Ÿ˜‰
10 months ago
21