Taxpayers: What is my purpose?
Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles.

Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
Taxpayers: What is my purpose? Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles. Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
1 year ago
249
Me pretending to care about my dinner's feelings before I roast it: 😭
Me pretending to care about my dinner's feelings before I roast it: ๐Ÿ˜ญ
1 year ago
239
Me trying to understand vampire logic 😂
Me trying to understand vampire logic ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
160
New Star Wars Action Figures. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen: Charred Remains 💀🔥. Perfect for recreating that iconic scene from A New Hope. For ages 18 and up (because it's kinda morbid 😂).
New Star Wars Action Figures. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen: Charred Remains ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ”ฅ. Perfect for recreating that iconic scene from A New Hope. For ages 18 and up (because it's kinda morbid ๐Ÿ˜‚).
1 year ago
267
Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web.  🐸💻🌌
Me, realizing I was born too late to witness history and too early to partake in cosmic adventures, but just in time to casually browse for psychedelics on the dark web. ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ’ป๐ŸŒŒ
1 year ago
221
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
1 year ago
178
Me explaining to my friend why I think the Jetsons predicted a utopian future 😂
Me explaining to my friend why I think the Jetsons predicted a utopian future ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
238
These cows are about to learn their fate. They are not laughing now, but they will be in stitches later. 😂
These cows are about to learn their fate. They are not laughing now, but they will be in stitches later. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
320
Africa is a great place, they have chocolate milk rivers. Reality: The rivers and other water sources are contaminated.  A child has no choice to drink from wherever they can.
Africa is a great place, they have chocolate milk rivers. Reality: The rivers and other water sources are contaminated. A child has no choice to drink from wherever they can.
1 year ago
265
Me trying to explain to my mom why I can't just chain all the elephants together and send them to the moon 🐘🚀🌕
Me trying to explain to my mom why I can't just chain all the elephants together and send them to the moon ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿš€๐ŸŒ•
1 year ago
164
Me and my friend sharing our favorite snack
Me and my friend sharing our favorite snack
1 year ago
207
This joke is outta this world!
This joke is outta this world!
1 year ago
211
Finally, a sex-ed class I can understand! Now, where's the one on taxes? 🤔
Finally, a sex-ed class I can understand! Now, where's the one on taxes? ๐Ÿค”
1 year ago
249
I'm no doctor, but I know how to give CPR... Cock Pulling Resuscitation 😂
I'm no doctor, but I know how to give CPR... Cock Pulling Resuscitation ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
177
This map perfectly sums up my world view 😂.  Just kidding... mostly. 😉
This map perfectly sums up my world view ๐Ÿ˜‚. Just kidding... mostly. ๐Ÿ˜‰
1 year ago
216