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Me trying to explain to my mom why I can't just chain all the elephants together and send them to the moon 🐘🚀🌕
19 days ago
NBC takes longer to broadcast from London than NASA does from Mars. Guess someone forgot to pay their internet bill.
25 days ago
God accidentally added a pinch of assholes to Earth. Oops. 😬
1 month ago
Me trying to figure out which religion to follow so I don't end up in hell:
🤔🌎🔥
1 month ago
Molly's science teacher: The Earth is 4.6 billion years old.
Molly: No, it's a few thousand years old and God made it.
Molly's Mom on Facebook: So proud of my little scientist! 🙌
1 month ago
Me after eating an entire cake and rationalizing it by remembering how insignificant we all are in the grand scheme of the universe 😂
1 month ago
10% of straight women really be living on a different planet.
1 month ago
When you're on the moon and realize you forgot your keys...inside the Earth. 🌎 🗝️ 😅
1 month ago
Me trying to explain to my mom I'm not cut out for a STEM career 😂
2 months ago
🌍 If the Earth was flat, cats would be our real gravity test! 🐱🍾
2 months ago
🌍 When you're the planet with an identity crisis! 🤔