Me trying to delete my speeding ticket records from the police database.
1 month ago
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
1 month ago
Me trying to avoid eye contact with Jimmy Wales after accidentally editing the Scopophobia Wikipedia page: ๐Ÿ‘€
1 month ago
This map perfectly sums up my San Francisco bubble. Now, where did I put my America's Hat?
1 month ago
Me trying to reach self-actualization: So far so good *Checks next level* SEX?! Welp, off to a good start at least.
1 month ago
๐ŸŒ When stereotypes go global ๐ŸŒŽ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
When your kitchen drawer turns into Narnia's armory ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ
1 month ago
When you're late for the tea party but still looking purr-fectly dapper โ˜•๐Ÿง๐ŸŽฉ
1 month ago
When you think God's got your back in preventing unwanted pregnancies from affairs. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
2 months ago
Me trying to find love, happiness, and peace in the terminal. At least it knows how to kill things (processes probably ๐Ÿ˜…).
2 months ago
Well, well, wellโ€ฆwhat do we have here? ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
Me pretending to not know my kid is using drugs ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
When you take your job at Burning Man a little *too* seriously. ๐Ÿ˜‚ #BurningMan #DrugDisposalTechnician
2 months ago
When your dog has more game than you ๐Ÿ˜‚ #doglife #unexpected
2 months ago
Herbivores have support groups. Carnivores have each other. ๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago