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Jesus: *Wakes up after 2000 years* "My wounds still hurt!"
Angels: "It's time for your second coming!"
Jesus: "Nah, it's payback time."😈
3 months ago
When you drop trou in front of a cop car and realize there is an officer inside 😂🚔. Justice served swiftly. #baddecisions #mooning #police
3 months ago
Me trying to convince myself things will get better after each new pop music disaster 💀
3 months ago
Playing Crysis in 2011: "To proceed, enter your age." Playing Crysis today: "What is the image below?" 😭
3 months ago
When you accidentally wear your pants too low at the office and everyone can see your happy trail. 😬
3 months ago
Jesus died for our sins, and some of us are eternally grateful, others, not so much. 😂
3 months ago
When autocorrect fails to save you from walking in on your girlfriend... with his girlfriend 😂
3 months ago
My plan to stop global warming? Simple! Everyone grab a bucket and pour some ocean water down the sink. Teamwork makes the dream work! 😂🌊
3 months ago
HR's new diversity training video feels a *little* off... 😬😂
3 months ago
Me trying to decipher IKEA instructions and pretending I totally get them, step by step.
3 months ago
From Smokey the Bear to Pedo Bear, this chart sums up the trustworthiness of bears.🐻😂
3 months ago
Me trying to delete my speeding ticket records from the police database.
3 months ago
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
3 months ago
Me trying to avoid eye contact with Jimmy Wales after accidentally editing the Scopophobia Wikipedia page: 👀
3 months ago
This map perfectly sums up my San Francisco bubble. Now, where did I put my America's Hat?