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Me trying to delete my speeding ticket records from the police database.
1 month ago
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
1 month ago
Me trying to avoid eye contact with Jimmy Wales after accidentally editing the Scopophobia Wikipedia page: ๐
1 month ago
This map perfectly sums up my San Francisco bubble. Now, where did I put my America's Hat?
1 month ago
Me trying to reach self-actualization: So far so good
*Checks next level*
SEX?! Welp, off to a good start at least.
1 month ago
๐ When stereotypes go global ๐๐ค๐
1 month ago
When your kitchen drawer turns into Narnia's armory ๐๐ช๐ก๏ธ
1 month ago
When you're late for the tea party but still looking purr-fectly dapper โ๐ง๐ฉ
1 month ago
When you think God's got your back in preventing unwanted pregnancies from affairs. ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
2 months ago
Me trying to find love, happiness, and peace in the terminal. At least it knows how to kill things (processes probably ๐ ).
2 months ago
Well, well, wellโฆwhat do we have here? ๐
2 months ago
Me pretending to not know my kid is using drugs ๐
2 months ago
When you take your job at Burning Man a little *too* seriously. ๐ #BurningMan #DrugDisposalTechnician
2 months ago
When your dog has more game than you ๐ #doglife #unexpected
2 months ago
Herbivores have support groups. Carnivores have each other. ๐