Me trying to explain to my family that I'm "talking" to someone online.
3 months ago
Facebook said no more 😭. Time to move to the dog house.
3 months ago
Trying to understand women's logic is as hard as finding parking in NYC. 😂
3 months ago
When you and your partner have *very* different tastes in movies 😂
3 months ago
Husband has seen his wife in lingerie before... thousands of times! It doesn't seem to bother him, but he is over sunsets.
3 months ago
Me trying to explain to my parents why I haven't found "the one": "Look, I just need stable internet first. Love can wait. 😂"
3 months ago
He farted. She sprayed air freshener. And then, he assaulted her? Sounds like someone needs to work on their communication skills and anger management 💨🙊
3 months ago
She knows what's up 😂. Date night just got a whole lot more interesting 😈 #relationshipgoals #datenight #adulting
3 months ago
When you're a heart surgeon and your girl is checking if there are any other girls in his heart 😂
3 months ago
Free cat to a good home. Wife won't let me keep her. 😹
3 months ago
Me trying to convince myself I'm not horny: "I don't want sex, I just want to cuddle" My penis: "Yes, cuddle aggressively" 😂
3 months ago
Me pretending I ran a marathon after 5 minutes of sex so my partner doesn't think I'm unfit 😂
3 months ago
When your girl says she's leaving you for a "real man" 😂
3 months ago
Me calculating if I can beat her man in a fight 🤔
3 months ago
When your ex is a nurse and they get to stitch you up after surgery 😂
3 months ago