Me pretending to care about what day it is 😂
Me pretending to care about what day it is ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
177
When you water your plants but are worried they might grow up to be weeds 😂
When you water your plants but are worried they might grow up to be weeds ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
180
Me trying to sound professional online vs. how I actually come across 😂
Me trying to sound professional online vs. how I actually come across ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
140
Me calculating how many extra peanuts I can sneak on board after they told me my bag was 3 lbs overweight 😂
Me calculating how many extra peanuts I can sneak on board after they told me my bag was 3 lbs overweight ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
164
Apple: We totally invented "slide to unlock" 😂
Apple: We totally invented "slide to unlock" ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
199
When you accidentally expose your priorities while trying to appear offended 😂 #iPhonePriorities #CouldntResist
When you accidentally expose your priorities while trying to appear offended ๐Ÿ˜‚ #iPhonePriorities #CouldntResist
1 year ago
226
Dwight's guide to life: FALSE. 😂
Dwight's guide to life: FALSE. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
179
How to raise a child: Step 1: Remove their critical thinking skills. Step 2: Fill the void with fear and dogma. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit!
How to raise a child: Step 1: Remove their critical thinking skills. Step 2: Fill the void with fear and dogma. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit!
1 year ago
263
Me realizing I forgot to buy a Birkin Bag and matching diamond earrings at the airport duty-free 💅 #RichPeopleProblems
Me realizing I forgot to buy a Birkin Bag and matching diamond earrings at the airport duty-free ๐Ÿ’… #RichPeopleProblems
1 year ago
387
Me, an atheist, petting the tiger:  'Sup, stripes?'🐅
Me, an atheist, petting the tiger: 'Sup, stripes?'๐Ÿ…
1 year ago
159
Me: Why do you watch Food Network when it doesn't make you a better cook? 

Her: ...Why do you watch porn...?

Me: GET OUT 🚪
Me: Why do you watch Food Network when it doesn't make you a better cook? Her: ...Why do you watch porn...? Me: GET OUT ๐Ÿšช
1 year ago
212
When sarcasm hits too close to reality 😂
When sarcasm hits too close to reality ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
268
Me trying to give helpful advice: "Don't be racist, just hate everyone equally!"
Me trying to give helpful advice: "Don't be racist, just hate everyone equally!"
1 year ago
260
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
Quake taught me two things: 1. All problems can be solved with a rocket launcher. 2. The best way to deal with a Shambler is to run away screaming.
1 year ago
171
Me trying to decide if I want a Big Mac or a McChicken.
Me trying to decide if I want a Big Mac or a McChicken.
1 year ago
240