Me pretending to care about my followers when it snows outside ๐Ÿ˜‚. "Oh no, it's a blizzard! Hope everyone is safe insideโ€ฆ not like me, who's braving the elements to update you all!" ๐Ÿ˜
9 days ago
When you confess your love and they take it as a band recommendation ๐Ÿ˜‚
14 days ago
My shoelace broke. Most people would blame Trump, but I know it's climate change's fault. Clearly, rising sea levels weakened the structural integrity of my shoelaces. ๐Ÿค”
27 days ago
๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’„๐Ÿ’‹ In 100 years, archaeologists will uncover the truth: we were all just skeletons trying to look fabulous for the 'gram. #priorities #beautyisbonesdeep๐Ÿ˜‚
27 days ago
Me pretending to be humbled when my mom says I'm handsome ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Me trying to understand why it's so hard for some people to grasp basic biology ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Me trying to convince myself that ordering 5 packages in one day from Amazon is environmentally friendly because it reduces trips ๐Ÿคก
1 month ago
This is not okay. Consent is everything. ๐Ÿค”
1 month ago
"I stand with gay people" ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ proceeds to sit
1 month ago
When life gives you lemons, it also throws portable toilets at your convertible.๐Ÿ’ฉ
1 month ago
Me trying to give my friend some constructive criticism ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Me trying to explain to my friends that lighting things on fire probably isnโ€™t the smartest idea when half the planet is on fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŒ
1 month ago
Apple's revolutionary "slide to unlock" technology, patent #1964022. Because no one has ever thought to slide a latch before. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Me after successfully navigating the self-checkout: "I am free!"
1 month ago
When you mistake the sun for the son of God ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago