Me trying to subtly slide into the Supreme Leader's DMs
Me trying to subtly slide into the Supreme Leader's DMs
1 year ago
305
USA: "Here's $6 Billion, but don't spend it on terrorism." 
Iran: "No, I will not cause terror by spending it all on the bomb vending machine."
USA: "Here's $6 Billion, but don't spend it on terrorism." Iran: "No, I will not cause terror by spending it all on the bomb vending machine."
1 year ago
329
When you accidentally schedule the Death to America meeting during everyone's lunch break.
When you accidentally schedule the Death to America meeting during everyone's lunch break.
1 year ago
323
Me after accidentally saying something offensive online and trying to play it off as a joke 😂
Me after accidentally saying something offensive online and trying to play it off as a joke ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
198
When you accidentally teach your kids that terrorism = anything bad
When you accidentally teach your kids that terrorism = anything bad
1 year ago
238
When the meal prep calls for extra gravy and freedom fries 🇺🇸🍟
When the meal prep calls for extra gravy and freedom fries ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐ŸŸ
1 year ago
357
When snowmen realize they're just pre-shredded ski slopes. ⛄️🎿
When snowmen realize they're just pre-shredded ski slopes. โ›„๏ธ๐ŸŽฟ
1 year ago
326
Two million iPhones sold in China? Pfft, those aren't REAL gifts. Now, the macaroni portrait I got for Father's Day... priceless! 😂
Two million iPhones sold in China? Pfft, those aren't REAL gifts. Now, the macaroni portrait I got for Father's Day... priceless! ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
304
Taxpayers: What is my purpose?
Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles.

Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
Taxpayers: What is my purpose? Rick: You fund a lavish lifestyle for elite pedophiles. Me: *nodding* Sounds about right.
1 year ago
324
"If we don't stop them now, they'll have parades and get married and stuff! Oh, the humanity!"
"If we don't stop them now, they'll have parades and get married and stuff! Oh, the humanity!"
1 year ago
340
They say the Bible is against gay marriage. I'm starting to think they just skipped the part about getting stoned.
They say the Bible is against gay marriage. I'm starting to think they just skipped the part about getting stoned.
1 year ago
237
When you click on a link that says "petite girl takes on two monster chickens at once" and it's actually a webcomic. Expectations vs. Reality 😂
When you click on a link that says "petite girl takes on two monster chickens at once" and it's actually a webcomic. Expectations vs. Reality ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
290
When your workout routine gets a little too intense. 💀
When your workout routine gets a little too intense. ๐Ÿ’€
1 year ago
313
Expectation vs. Reality: Dating Edition 😂
Expectation vs. Reality: Dating Edition ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
340
Some traditions never change.  Just the year and the person being carried. 😂
Some traditions never change. Just the year and the person being carried. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
260