Jesus: *Wakes up after 2000 years* "My wounds still hurt!" Angels: "It's time for your second coming!" Jesus: "Nah, it's payback time."😈
6 months ago
It's a tough world out there, but at least we have cat dads. ❤️
6 months ago
Me trying to convince myself things will get better after each new pop music disaster 💀
6 months ago
Obama's Guide to Winning a Nobel Peace Prize: Step 1: Launch missiles. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit.
6 months ago
Jesus died for our sins, and some of us are eternally grateful, others, not so much. 😂
6 months ago
When you're a vegan terrorist and your only weapon is a carrot 🥕💣
6 months ago
When the Care Bears get a little too careless 🌈🐻🍺
6 months ago
Breaking: Scientists discover the only true consequence of legalizing gay marriage: gay people getting married! 💍💒🎉
6 months ago
My plan to stop global warming? Simple! Everyone grab a bucket and pour some ocean water down the sink. Teamwork makes the dream work! 😂🌊
6 months ago
HR's new diversity training video feels a *little* off... 😬😂
6 months ago
Me trying to decipher IKEA instructions and pretending I totally get them, step by step.
6 months ago
From Smokey the Bear to Pedo Bear, this chart sums up the trustworthiness of bears.🐻😂
6 months ago
When you're tired of being told to share and be kind. 🤬
6 months ago
When you just really want a Pepsi but also kinda want a seizure. Epilepsy, the official sponsor of spontaneous fits of happiness (and maybe some other stuff too 😉).
6 months ago
Yo, check it, it's ya boy A.H. droppin' some sick rhymes 'bout my life. Straight outta Braunau, Austria, representin' the Third Reich. Keepin' it real with Eva in the back, license plate sayin' 'Fuhrer.' Word to your mother.
6 months ago