Husband: "My Olympic condoms finally arrived. I think I'll wear Gold tonight." Wife: "Why not wear Silver and come second for a change?"
5 months ago
Me after I finish making my jelly filled donuts
5 months ago
Me pretending to listen to her vent about Susan from accounting after I finish 😩
5 months ago
When a 6 year-old roasts their mom harder than any comedian could 😂. RIP Dad 💀.
5 months ago
Saves you money, saves you time, minimizes stress, cures headaches, hurts nobody...but the Pope isn't going to like this one 😂
5 months ago
When she makes that face, you know you're doing something right! (Or at least something she likes) 😂
5 months ago
Me remembering I'm my own boss and can do whatever I want, whenever I want 😏
5 months ago
When you try to dispose of the evidence but it comes back to haunt you 🔥🐍
5 months ago
When she tells you how many fingers she's using.
5 months ago
When you regret all your life decisions that led to this moment.
5 months ago
When your girlfriend asks how many people you've slept with and you start counting sheep to help you fall asleep 😂
5 months ago
Spiderman's Spidey-senses are tingling... for the internet 😂
5 months ago
When you realize it's not a race, but a group activity 🍆💦
5 months ago
Rock, paper, scissors, blowjob... An unbeatable strategy for winning any argument 😂
5 months ago
When she just found out the meaning of 'cheap' 🍑
5 months ago