Me trying to avoid eye contact with everyone while walking so I donโ€™t have to socialize ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
When the dictionary changes its definition of words every 5 minutes ๐Ÿ˜‚ #Confused
5 months ago
1980: People rush to help. 2010: People watch and record. 2025:๐Ÿคณ "OMG, I fell off my bike! Are my followers still there? #InjuredButInfluential"
5 months ago
People born before 1990 be like: "I can program the VCR and identify my gender, what more do you need?"
5 months ago
When being polite goes extinct ๐Ÿ˜‚. #survivalofthefittest #spermrace #gentlemen
5 months ago
"Does your dog bite?" "Nah." *5 seconds later* "WOOF BARK GRRR...BANG!"
6 months ago
When you and the boys go for a ride but you gotta follow your wife ๐Ÿ’€
6 months ago
One group chases, the other hunts. Which one are you in? ๐Ÿค”
6 months ago
Jesus hung out with 12 guys and a prostitute. He was more like me than like you. ๐Ÿ˜‚
6 months ago
Equal rights, equal sluts. ๐Ÿ˜‚
6 months ago
Reading Mein Kampf makes you worse than Hitler, reading the KKK's handbook makes you a white supremacist, but reading the Bible makes you a freedom-loving saint. ๐Ÿค”
6 months ago
When you realize "saggin" spelled backwards is "niggas" ๐Ÿ˜‚ Sneaky, sneaky. ๐Ÿคซ
6 months ago
Moms when their sons whip it out vs dads when their daughters whip it out ๐Ÿ˜‚ #doubleStandard #parenting
6 months ago
Me trying to give helpful advice: "Don't be racist, just hate everyone equally!"
6 months ago
If a key opens many locks, itโ€™s a master key. If a lock is opened by many keysโ€ฆwell, you know the rest. ๐Ÿ˜‰
6 months ago