When she has standards but can't handle them being applied back. The #DoubleStandards comeback was legendary. 🎤
When she has standards but can't handle them being applied back. The #DoubleStandards comeback was legendary. ๐ŸŽค
29 days ago
93
The kind of urgent 2 AM life advice you get from a newly retired dad who has way too much time on his hands. 👴
The kind of urgent 2 AM life advice you get from a newly retired dad who has way too much time on his hands. ๐Ÿ‘ด
4 months ago
227
When you think you're shutting down unwanted advances but you're actually just a charger thief. The next shift is going to be awkward. 😬
When you think you're shutting down unwanted advances but you're actually just a charger thief. The next shift is going to be awkward. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
4 months ago
263
Bet 'champ' stopped feeling so smug after that last message. That's what you call a plot twist! 😳
Bet 'champ' stopped feeling so smug after that last message. That's what you call a plot twist! ๐Ÿ˜ณ
4 months ago
246
When you try to be romantic but your partner takes things a bit too literally. Please advise. 🤔🚽
When you try to be romantic but your partner takes things a bit too literally. Please advise. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿšฝ
5 months ago
204
He tried to hit his dad with the uno reverse card dad joke and got completely obliterated. 💀
He tried to hit his dad with the uno reverse card dad joke and got completely obliterated. ๐Ÿ’€
6 months ago
242
When you try to be a supportive husband but it backfires spectacularly. He had the spirit, just the wrong source material. 😂
When you try to be a supportive husband but it backfires spectacularly. He had the spirit, just the wrong source material. ๐Ÿ˜‚
8 months ago
234
The duality of parental concern. One brings the love ❤️, the other brings the suspicion 🧐.
The duality of parental concern. One brings the love โค๏ธ, the other brings the suspicion ๐Ÿง.
9 months ago
261
Dad saw his opportunity and took it. Never change, Dads, never change. 😂
Dad saw his opportunity and took it. Never change, Dads, never change. ๐Ÿ˜‚
9 months ago
260
Some sisters don't play games when it comes to their brothers. She is the final boss. 💀🔥
Some sisters don't play games when it comes to their brothers. She is the final boss. ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ”ฅ
9 months ago
181
If Elon can juggle rockets, tweets, and a dozen kids, she can definitely text you back. Know your worth, king. 👑
If Elon can juggle rockets, tweets, and a dozen kids, she can definitely text you back. Know your worth, king. ๐Ÿ‘‘
9 months ago
252
When the DJ understands the assignment a little *too* well. FINISH HIM! 🕺
When the DJ understands the assignment a little *too* well. FINISH HIM! ๐Ÿ•บ
9 months ago
274
A match made in hell. They're both bringing the heat with these roasts. I think this is what they call love. 🔥
A match made in hell. They're both bringing the heat with these roasts. I think this is what they call love. ๐Ÿ”ฅ
9 months ago
174
The Gordon Ramsay method for scoring a date: sear for 30 seconds, then finish it off somewhere warmer. 😉
The Gordon Ramsay method for scoring a date: sear for 30 seconds, then finish it off somewhere warmer. ๐Ÿ˜‰
10 months ago
230
He respects her need for security, but the budget remains the top priority. Tell RoboCop the perimeter is secure, and so is his wallet. 😂
He respects her need for security, but the budget remains the top priority. Tell RoboCop the perimeter is secure, and so is his wallet. ๐Ÿ˜‚
10 months ago
278