When you realize your vodka isn't making it through security so you start offering shots at 7:30 am. TSA is not impressed 😂
13 days ago
Potatoes are the GOAT 🥔👑. Other vegetables could never.
1 month ago
Roses are red, violets are blue, eating out is expensive so let's get drunk 😂
1 month ago
Me after a night out thinking I'm doing future me a solid 😂
1 month ago
The proof is in the pudding... or should I say the vodka? 🍸😂
1 month ago
When your alarm clock is a Smirnoff bottle 🍹🕒
1 month ago
When you want to get drunk like a samurai 🍶
1 month ago
Yo dawg, I heard you like drinking and driving, so we put a bottle of vodka in your car so you can drink while you drive. Oh wait... that's illegal. 😂
2 months ago