So the Titanic hit an iceberg, but there are no iceberg pieces in the wreckage? 🤔  Must be the work of the Illuminati... or maybe the ice just melted? 🤷‍♂️
So the Titanic hit an iceberg, but there are no iceberg pieces in the wreckage? ๐Ÿค” Must be the work of the Illuminati... or maybe the ice just melted? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
11 months ago
71
Her: "OMG, it's HUGE!" 
Me: "I know, right? I call it Mjolnir 2.0!"
Her: "OMG, it's HUGE!" Me: "I know, right? I call it Mjolnir 2.0!"
11 months ago
39
When your side chic kisses your baby mama's belly and everyone's wearing matching outfits, you know it's true love 💖
When your side chic kisses your baby mama's belly and everyone's wearing matching outfits, you know it's true love ๐Ÿ’–
11 months ago
72
Me at 3 AM watching the 57th episode of "Building a Massive Underground Swimming Pool With My Bare Hands" 😴
Me at 3 AM watching the 57th episode of "Building a Massive Underground Swimming Pool With My Bare Hands" ๐Ÿ˜ด
11 months ago
83
When you try to slide into the DMs of your crush's hot cousin 😂
When you try to slide into the DMs of your crush's hot cousin ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
71
Me pretending to listen to her vent about Susan from accounting after I finish 😩
Me pretending to listen to her vent about Susan from accounting after I finish ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
11 months ago
57
When you know too much about the Clinton's but forgot to delete your browser history 😬
When you know too much about the Clinton's but forgot to delete your browser history ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
11 months ago
60
This is my dog. He's licensed to kill... boredom. 😂
This is my dog. He's licensed to kill... boredom. ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
61
Government be like: "We're cooking up some solutions!" 🤣 Meanwhile, the people are getting fried. 🥵
Government be like: "We're cooking up some solutions!" ๐Ÿคฃ Meanwhile, the people are getting fried. ๐Ÿฅต
11 months ago
66
Hindus in India: *Boycott Muslims*. Hindus in Middle East: *Job Please*.   irony at its finest. 😂
Hindus in India: *Boycott Muslims*. Hindus in Middle East: *Job Please*. irony at its finest. ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
73
When your modern solution to your highschool problem requires you to pack your bags and relocate
When your modern solution to your highschool problem requires you to pack your bags and relocate
11 months ago
82
Me pretending to be asleep when my nieces and nephews come over 😂  #silenceisgolden
Me pretending to be asleep when my nieces and nephews come over ๐Ÿ˜‚ #silenceisgolden
11 months ago
57
When you want to stay modest but also give the best head 😈🧕
When you want to stay modest but also give the best head ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿง•
11 months ago
50
When you walk in on Bert giving Ernie an autopsy after Ernie accidentally choked on a rubber ducky and died.
When you walk in on Bert giving Ernie an autopsy after Ernie accidentally choked on a rubber ducky and died.
11 months ago
46
"It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it."  😂
"It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it." ๐Ÿ˜‚
11 months ago
53