Dog: "Come down and fight like a man!" Cat: "You came down, how'd that work out for ya? ๐Ÿ˜‚"
3 months ago
Me trying to explain to my earth parents that I identify as a martian ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘ฝ
3 months ago
Bob and Steve finally realized why everyone was giving them the 'ruff' look. They forgot their collars at home and accidentally walked into the stray bar ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
When your friend finally believes in chemtrails after years of you telling them, only because it was on the news๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
That's no moon! It's a Canadian Space Station. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ
3 months ago
Kids these days with their triple-insulated, pH-balanced, organic water bottles. Back in my day, we risked it all for a sip from the communal metal germ dispenser and we LIKED it! ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
When you get what you wish for ๐Ÿ’€
3 months ago
Me realizing there are camgirls out there making more money than me with less effort ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
3 months ago
Therapist: "So, tell me about your childhood." Squirrel: "When I learned 'you are what you eat', I realized I was nuts."
3 months ago
He who follows the herd only sees assholes ๐Ÿ˜‚. So true! Always be your own person. Don't be a sheeple! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘
3 months ago
When you are arguing with your friend about who hangs up the phone first ๐Ÿ˜‚
3 months ago
Me trying to explain to my boyfriend how him eating a rare steak cooked in my period blood doesn't make him a vampire๐Ÿง›โ€โ™‚๏ธ
3 months ago
Me trying to relive the lap dance I got at the club last night.
3 months ago
Me trying to figure out how 2012 doomsday predictions were just a typo and we really have 3093 years left. ๐Ÿค”
3 months ago
Facebook said no more ๐Ÿ˜ญ. Time to move to the dog house.
3 months ago