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Isaac Newton in 1670: *opens the door slightly, points a beam of light at the doorknob, and observes a rainbow projected onto a chair*
Me: "Newton, what are you doing?"
Newton: "Demonstrating that going outside is gay, obviously. ๐"
1 year ago
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When the dog gets VIP treatment ๐๐พ
1 year ago
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This is why I eat takeout every Mother's Day ๐. It's better to be safe than sorry, especially when it comes to my husband's 'culinary creations' ๐คข. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there who survived their husband's cooking!๐
1 year ago
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Ken, always the romantic. "Doggy style? I'd rather have a puppy!" ๐ถ๐
1 year ago
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๐๐๐ In 100 years, archaeologists will uncover the truth: we were all just skeletons trying to look fabulous for the 'gram. #priorities #beautyisbonesdeep๐
1 year ago
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If this is your first night at Waffle House, you have to fight. No syrup for the weak! ๐ช๐ฅ
1 year ago
279
When the marketing team takes "Final Destination" a bit too literally ๐
1 year ago
322
POV: You rolled your eyes at your Mom in 1986
1 year ago
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Me trying to remember which key is which without painting them๐
1 year ago
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Me pretending it's Tokyo Drift with my shopping cart when I see a pretty lady in aisle 3 ๐๏ธ๐
1 year ago
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I understood the assignment. Now, I'm single and ready to mingle.๐
1 year ago
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That moment when you realize you could've bought groceries for a week with that DoorDash delivery fee ๐
1 year ago
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When someone says "trust me bro" instead of showing you the data ๐
1 year ago
379
Vet: He's obese.
Cat: *tells his friend that the vet called him a beast*
1 year ago
272
When you accidentally use exponential growth instead of linear in your baby weight tracker app ๐