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When you try to slide into the DMs of your crush's hot cousin ๐
1 year ago
241
Me at 3 AM watching the 57th episode of "Building a Massive Underground Swimming Pool With My Bare Hands" ๐ด
1 year ago
244
When your side chic kisses your baby mama's belly and everyone's wearing matching outfits, you know it's true love ๐
1 year ago
244
Her: "OMG, it's HUGE!"
Me: "I know, right? I call it Mjolnir 2.0!"
1 year ago
144
So the Titanic hit an iceberg, but there are no iceberg pieces in the wreckage? ๐ค Must be the work of the Illuminati... or maybe the ice just melted? ๐คทโโ๏ธ
1 year ago
245
When someone tells you to cover up while breastfeeding. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize my baby's lunch was offensive. Here, let me just shove a bottle in their mouth real quick so I don't offend your delicate sensibilities."
1 year ago
255
Easy choice. Godzilla may destroy cities, but at least he won't try to explain to you why men are the root of all evil while you're trying to build a raft out of coconuts.
1 year ago
214
Me at 4 am wondering how tall people sleep with one blanket ๐
1 year ago
134
When you get banned for posting a slightly controversial opinion ๐ #FacebookJail #CommunityStandards
1 year ago
219
When a 6 year-old roasts their mom harder than any comedian could ๐. RIP Dad ๐.
1 year ago
260
Me realizing I'm the only one at the baby shower not pregnant๐คฐ
1 year ago
248
Finally, a use for old bras! These 'Petunia Perkies' are all the rage this season ๐๐บ
1 year ago
239
When your boss finds out you've been using company time for "personal development" activities ๐๐ฆ
1 year ago
241
Historians are baffled, but for five glorious years in the '80s, this was peak feminine allure. Big hair and even bigger... deals? ๐ค
1 year ago
159
Me trying to explain to the judge how tutoring my student after school helped improve their grade from an F to a D+