If Elon can juggle rockets, tweets, and a dozen kids, she can definitely text you back. Know your worth, king. 👑
3 months ago
When you think it's your lucky night but you just landed on the permanent naughty list. 🎅
3 months ago
Back in my day, these were the four horsemen of the internet apocalypse. We've come so far. 👴
3 months ago
A man with his priorities straight. Some things are more important than a cure. 😂
3 months ago
Splinter's stealth training program seems to have some... inconsistencies. Nothing says 'hidden' like a giant blimp with your name on it. 😂
3 months ago
Even Jesus has his limits, and that limit is basic autumn drink requests. 🎃☕
3 months ago
When you try to hit a home run but you're living in an Amish paradise. A schwing and a miss!
3 months ago
When you search for 'easy Halloween costumes' and find your true calling as a cozy, human-sized slug. 🐛
3 months ago
When you find a loophole in the system that comes with three built-in girlfriends. Modern problems require modern solutions. 😎
3 months ago
The only holiday truck we wanted to see pull up in 2020. Santa got a new sponsor that year. 💉
3 months ago
That awkward moment when you try to pronounce your medication's name and accidentally summon the dark lord. Well, this is awkward. 🐐
3 months ago
Just when you think you've seen it all in the bedroom... she introduces a new, very specific skill. 😳
3 months ago
My life philosophy when it comes to kitchen chores. Flawless logic, if you ask me. 🧑‍🍳
3 months ago
Well, that escalated quickly. From 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight' to 'Can You Feel the Crippling Realization Tonight'. 😳
3 months ago
The four horsemen of aircraft naming conventions. America clearly has the most freedom. 🦅🇺🇸
3 months ago