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New beard trimmer? So long nose hair, you're pubes now.
3 months ago
🤯 When you realize Aladdin might be a post-apocalyptic future and the Genie is just vibing with ancient memes 😂
3 months ago
If guns cause crime, then spoons make people fat, and pencils misspell words. Let's be real, it's not the tools, it's the choices people make! 🤔
3 months ago
When seconds count, the police are only minutes away. 🤔 #2A #SelfDefense
3 months ago
Choosing the right woman is hard. 18 year old: easily impressed. Girls your age: constantly complaining. Older women: higher sex drive. Decisions, decisions 🤔
3 months ago
When you wish upon a star 🌟...or in this case, a magic lamp 🧞♂️. Be careful what you wish for, kids! 😂 Especially if you're wishing to be Batman at your birthday party. Always specify which Batman! #DarkHumor #BirthdayFails
3 months ago
I'd tell heaven an angel is missing, but I hope you're just a slut 😈
3 months ago
When you realize Black Monopoly is just regular Monopoly but with extra steps.
3 months ago
When you accidentally hit two elderly pedestrians in GTA 🧓👴
3 months ago
Happiness is submission to GODZILLA!🦖
3 months ago
Me and my partner having a nutritional breakfast 🍳
3 months ago
Me trying to sound professional online vs. how I actually come across 😂
3 months ago
When you desperately need a cure but your Tourettes has other plans 😂
3 months ago
Yo dog, we heard you like dogs, so we put a dog on the phone so you can talk to a dog while you're on the phone 🐶📞
3 months ago
One guy sold stolen ideas and got called Jesus, the other invented C and UNIX and got... ignored? 🤔 The tech world is a strange place. 😂