Police Medic: "Sir, are you feeling unwell?" Protestor: "A little..." Police Medic: *Raises baton* "I've got just the cure for that!" ๐Ÿš‘๐Ÿšจ
4 months ago
Me trying to get my Pet Rock to attack someone who called me a loser.
4 months ago
When your "friend" turns out to be just a useful contact ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
When you realize the meeting is just an elaborate tea ceremony.
4 months ago
Me trying to keep my files offline, safe, and organized vs. OneDrive trying to force me into the cloud ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
Airbnb vs. Hotel: One comes with endless rules and a hefty cleaning deposit, the other with a predictable, boring room and peace of mind. Choose your fighter! ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
Me after eating chili on a first date: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’จ
4 months ago
Me pretending I ran a marathon after 5 minutes of sex so my partner doesn't think I'm unfit ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
Me trying to convince my mom I showered by just standing next to the running water for 15 minutes ๐Ÿ’€
4 months ago
If you bought Bitcoin in 2010, a BMW M5 cost 178,000 BTC. If you hodled, that same Bitcoin could now buy you a fleet of M5s in 2025. Moral of the story? Buy Bitcoin, buy BMWs (eventually).
4 months ago
When your kid tells you about their first bj and its with YOU ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
4 months ago
Me when I realize I can make a grilled cheese by turning my toaster sideways๐Ÿคฏ
4 months ago
The ultimate dilemma:๐Ÿฅ“ or๐Ÿ‘ฉ? Centuries of debate and we're still no closer to a definitive answer. Guess some questions are just too important to resolve. ๐Ÿค”
4 months ago
Metropolitan Police: "There's no way we're letting you use our quote." Banksy: *proceeds to make it the book cover* ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
When you say you donโ€™t always eat breakfast, but then you always do ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago