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Me trying to apply math problems to real life ๐
4 months ago
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti ๐ท
4 months ago
When you realize 4am is way past a baby's bedtime ๐ #parenting
4 months ago
Me trying to meditate for 5 seconds before remembering all the shit I have to do today ๐
4 months ago
When your girls are talking crazy ๐คช๐ but your date doesnโt quite understand the assignment ๐น #Memes #Dating
4 months ago
When your girl says it's over, but you work in construction and don't hear so well because of the loud noises. ๐
4 months ago
Now you know the real magic behind their broom skills ๐งโโ๏ธ
4 months ago
When your meme game is weaker than your grandma's Wi-Fi signal, time to monetize those tootsies ๐ฆถ๐ธ
4 months ago
Me pretending to care when my toxic ex texts me saying she's having a bad day ๐
4 months ago
Me trying to retrieve my lost Croc from the swamp monster ๐
4 months ago
POV: You're an archaeologist in the 22nd century wondering how this Instagram baddie got those rock hard abs ๐
4 months ago
When you tell your kids to sit down for the 50th time and they still don't listen ๐
4 months ago
When you get thrown back and start telling everyone about the bright light and the probing ๐ฝ๐ฃ
4 months ago
"Do you know who I am?"
"Of course, I do. I married your sister!" ๐
4 months ago
Me trying to figure out the important questions in life ๐ค๐