Pro of being an adult: I can eat a whole box of cookies. Con of being an adult: I ate a whole box of cookies.
6 months ago
Me explaining to my doctor that the constant, agonizing pain I feel is just a Tuesday.
6 months ago
Me, the student with the worst grades, giving a graduation speech about how education is important: 🎓ðŸĪĄ
6 months ago
When your boyfriend's sleep-talking has you side-eyeing the cat like he's an accomplice 😂
6 months ago
Me after wearing the stress-converting bracelet for 5 minutes: I have become Thor, God of Thunder ⚡ïļ(and anxiety).
6 months ago
Me after eating 413 chicken nuggets: My body: *windows shutting down sound*
6 months ago
Me pretending to be surprised when I find 3-week old leftovers in the back of the fridge: ðŸ˜ą
6 months ago
I child-proofed my house, but they still get in. Me: *calls child protective services on MYSELF* ðŸĪŠ
6 months ago
When you're a heart surgeon and your girl is checking if there are any other girls in his heart 😂
6 months ago
I'm a big fan of geography puns. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I find they really expand my horizons.
6 months ago
Me: I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 30 seconds. Genie: 👁ïļðŸ‘„👁ïļ
6 months ago
When you ask for a picture of the truck and get a selfie instead 😂. "Of the truck, dumbass!"
6 months ago
Back in my day, identity theft was as easy as opening the mailbox 😂
6 months ago
Girls when they get a 99/100 while boys when they lose 3 wars and still act cool 😎
6 months ago
Millennials trying to adult in this economy. 😭 First homes, then retirement and now eggs?! What's next, we can't afford air? 💀
6 months ago