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When you get a new MacBook for Christmas and all you do is Facebook๐. Guess what? It's a $2000 Facebook machine now๐.
10 months ago
26
When you gotta go, you gotta go. Even if it means your buddy has to hold the urinal for you. ๐ฝ๐ #vintagevibes #70sfashion #publicrestroomproblems
10 months ago
25
When you come home high at 3 AM and accidentally ring the doorbell ๐๐คฆโโ๏ธ
10 months ago
21
Me trying to get life advice from a magic 8 ball ๐๐
10 months ago
37
When your coworker is more offended by "God damnit" than by the R-word ๐
10 months ago
27
That's one way to blow bubbles. ๐
10 months ago
30
When you and the squad try to "Be Different" but end up looking exactly the same ๐
10 months ago
21
Europeans calculating how much to tip at a restaurant ๐
10 months ago
37
When you see Medusa at a party but you're already stoned๐ฟ๐
10 months ago
36
When your partner says they like toys in the bedroom, but you're on different wavelengths ๐
10 months ago
21
Me trying to tell my boss I deserve a promotion and he hits me with, "We'll spreadsheet about it."
10 months ago
42
When you're worried about calories but your doctor gives you some *interesting* medical advice ๐
10 months ago
31
Me, bored out of my mind, gaslighting some ants in my kitchen ๐
10 months ago
28
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?"
"Yes. All the others were nines or tens."
Me: ๐ I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
10 months ago
28
She's about to enter a whole new dimension of disappointment ๐