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When you see Medusa at a party but you're already stoned๐ฟ๐
1 year ago
196
When your partner says they like toys in the bedroom, but you're on different wavelengths ๐
1 year ago
122
Me trying to tell my boss I deserve a promotion and he hits me with, "We'll spreadsheet about it."
1 year ago
226
When you're worried about calories but your doctor gives you some *interesting* medical advice ๐
1 year ago
194
Me, bored out of my mind, gaslighting some ants in my kitchen ๐
1 year ago
201
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?"
"Yes. All the others were nines or tens."
Me: ๐ I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
1 year ago
212
She's about to enter a whole new dimension of disappointment ๐
1 year ago
123
Me trying to convince myself to stop crying and go touch some grass: "Stop crying. You're wasting good mascara and main character energy."
1 year ago
229
Me after accidentally confessing my deepest desires instead of saying "I want to kiss your puppy" ๐ฅน
1 year ago
134
Me and the boys on our way to find the last surviving Blockbuster.
1 year ago
202
POV: It's your average Tuesday
1 year ago
108
Me trying to subtly show off my limited edition Jordans on a first date.
1 year ago
124
Me trying to explain to my therapist that the coffee wallpaper is breathing. โ
1 year ago
111
When the StarCraft servers go down, and you realize you have no life outside of the game ๐ญ
1 year ago
120
When science and fiction collide! Carl Sagan + Lando Calrissian = Neil deGrasse Tyson. The formation of the ultimate science communicator. ๐๐ญ๐