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Me after a night out thinking I'm doing future me a solid ๐
1 year ago
83
Steve Jobs: "Remember when I died and people treated me like a god?"
Bill Gates: "Yeah, well I'm eradicating malaria and donating 90% of my wealth and people just call me rich. So...yeah, f*** you Steve."
1 year ago
131
Nailed it! Just not in the way I intended ๐ #fail #backflip
1 year ago
143
We monks have achieved enlightenment. We now understand the true meaning of resistance. OHMMMMM...
1 year ago
137
My Facebook fact-checker must have gone on vacation because my posts are getting WILD! ๐ #FacebookJail #FactCheckFail
1 year ago
75
POV: You are a saber tooth tiger about to hunt. 10,000 years later, you are now a bunny ๐ฐ ๐
1 year ago
149
Husband has seen his wife in lingerie before... thousands of times! It doesn't seem to bother him, but he is over sunsets.
1 year ago
68
When your girl says she baked you a cake with a surprise inside and it isn't a file. ๐
1 year ago
143
Me and my imaginary partner locking in our love forever.๐โค๏ธ
1 year ago
118
Me trying to explain to my parents why I haven't found "the one": "Look, I just need stable internet first. Love can wait. ๐"
1 year ago
132
Me trying to find something interesting to read while using the bathroom:
*Picks up shampoo bottle and starts reading ingredients*
Yes...yes...quite fascinating indeed...
1 year ago
95
When the genie gives you two great options, but you forget which one you chose ๐
1 year ago
129
When you can't afford all four wheels, but still need to get to work
1 year ago
143
When someone steals your Happy Meal, so you steal their happiness. ๐
1 year ago
135
When you ask your mom for money and she says "Ask your dad" and then your dad says "Ask your mom" and you end up homeless.