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Me pretending to know the code for dragon fruit when it doesn't scan so the cashier thinks I'm a grocery store genius ๐
10 months ago
34
Why are the pyramids still in Egypt?๐ค
It's simple: Even the British Museum couldn't handle such a BIG souvenir. ๐
10 months ago
15
Me trying to explain to my dentist why I haven't flossed in a week ๐
10 months ago
25
To have kids or not to have kids. That is the $18.75 question ๐ค. Choose wisely, choose Trojans.
10 months ago
27
STOP VEGANS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. What's next? Mountain goats?
10 months ago
34
I guess this jigsaw puzzle isn't suitable for vegetarians after all ๐
10 months ago
24
This lettuce expires on *which* Monday?! What if I need to eat it on *every* Monday?! ๐ฉ
10 months ago
28
Spotted a man bun in the wild? Instantaneously transforms into a walking, talking trash bag emoji ๐ฅท๐
10 months ago
19
My internet when I'm trying to watch Breaking Bad and an ad starts playing ๐
10 months ago
33
Me trying to carefully approach my wife after I left the toilet seat up.
10 months ago
39
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders ๐. I guess that makes her the Chick-fil-A CEO.
10 months ago
23
When your girlfriend's solo pics get way more likes than your couple pics, but you know the real ones are coming to the wedding ๐
10 months ago
25
Me trying to find the end of the packing tape.
10 months ago
25
Me trying to figure out why my clothes shrink in the dryer: ๐ง
10 months ago
40
Evil-Lyn: "A woman's intuition is never wrong!"
Skeletor: "Way too many single mothers for this to be true."