I can't believe this game exists.๐Ÿ˜‚ It's called "Guess Poo" and you have to guess what kind of poop your opponent has.๐Ÿ’ฉ I'm dying!๐Ÿคฃ
4 months ago
Me after listening to my friends complain about their significant others for the 100th time ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚ #foreveralone
4 months ago
Men then: Fighting in wars, building nations. Men now: Taking selfies, wearing skinny jeans. ๐Ÿ˜‚ The times, they are a-changin'! (and possibly for the worse? ๐Ÿค”)
4 months ago
Me trying to explain to my parents how I'm going to become a millionaire with my perpetual motion machine. ๐Ÿ”Œโšก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
When she says she wants a real man ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
Me trying to draw the Union Jack from memory after my 5th pint. Close enough.
4 months ago
Jesus looking up like: "C'mon guys, at least one sin a day. Keeps the doctorโ€ฆand me in business. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜ˆ"
4 months ago
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a dead pig, grab some C4! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿท
4 months ago
My ex had this weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a bitch all the time. Like, girl, who hurt you? ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
When you just really want a Pepsi but also kinda want a seizure. Epilepsy, the official sponsor of spontaneous fits of happiness (and maybe some other stuff too ๐Ÿ˜‰).
4 months ago
Me, multitasking like a pro. One hand on the phone, the other... oh wait, I'm pumping. Guess that's three tasks at once! ๐Ÿคฑโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow! โ˜€๏ธ
4 months ago
One gives away corporate secrets for free and is a villain. The other gives away YOUR secrets for money and is Man of the Year. ๐Ÿค”
4 months ago
When you're a master pianist, but take the term "fingering the minors" a bit too literally ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
4 months ago
Me trying to look busy at work so my boss doesn't give me extra tasks ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago