When you're a heart surgeon and your girl is checking if there are any other girls in his heart 😂
When you're a heart surgeon and your girl is checking if there are any other girls in his heart ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
133
I'm a big fan of geography puns. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I find they really expand my horizons.
I'm a big fan of geography puns. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but I find they really expand my horizons.
1 year ago
84
Me: I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 30 seconds.
Genie: 👁️👄👁️
Me: I wish for all blind people to be able to see for 30 seconds. Genie: ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
1 year ago
66
When you ask for a picture of the truck and get a selfie instead 😂.  "Of the truck, dumbass!"
When you ask for a picture of the truck and get a selfie instead ๐Ÿ˜‚. "Of the truck, dumbass!"
1 year ago
77
Back in my day, identity theft was as easy as opening the mailbox 😂
Back in my day, identity theft was as easy as opening the mailbox ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
153
Girls when they get a 99/100 while boys when they lose 3 wars and still act cool 😎
Girls when they get a 99/100 while boys when they lose 3 wars and still act cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž
1 year ago
145
Millennials trying to adult in this economy. 😭 First homes, then retirement and now eggs?! What's next, we can't afford air?  💀
Millennials trying to adult in this economy. ๐Ÿ˜ญ First homes, then retirement and now eggs?! What's next, we can't afford air? ๐Ÿ’€
1 year ago
74
Me trying to decide if I'm hot or cold after stepping out of the shower 😂
Me trying to decide if I'm hot or cold after stepping out of the shower ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
126
When you've spent 8 months in the black void of space contemplating the meaning of existence, and all you get upon your return is a Katy Perry concert and some forced patriotism.
When you've spent 8 months in the black void of space contemplating the meaning of existence, and all you get upon your return is a Katy Perry concert and some forced patriotism.
1 year ago
72
When your job treats you like 💩, you write your resignation letter on toilet paper 😂
When your job treats you like ๐Ÿ’ฉ, you write your resignation letter on toilet paper ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
125
Me after paying my taxes and waiting for the roads to be fixed 😂
Me after paying my taxes and waiting for the roads to be fixed ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
69
Men produce... 🤔... masterpieces! Like this meme, for example. 😂
Men produce... ๐Ÿค”... masterpieces! Like this meme, for example. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
131
Me refreshing Twitter waiting to be told what I'm offended by today 😂
Me refreshing Twitter waiting to be told what I'm offended by today ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
70
Me trying to make a quick exit from a conversation I don't want to be in 😬
Me trying to make a quick exit from a conversation I don't want to be in ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
1 year ago
118
When 420 falls on Easter weekend, Snoop Dogg is ready to celebrate! 🐰💨🥚
When 420 falls on Easter weekend, Snoop Dogg is ready to celebrate! ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿฅš
1 year ago
145