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Expectation: Baby giggles and sweet cuddles 🥰 Reality: Baby feet in your face and 2 hours of sleep 😫
1 month ago
Florida Woman: Just living my best life 💅, one shopping cart at a time. (Target employees hate her! See how she gets free sushi and cinnamon rolls with this one simple trick!)
1 month ago
Dad: *Buys cat so daughter isn't always on her phone.*
Daughter and Cat: *Become phone addicts together.* 😂
1 month ago
When a beaver's water breaks, it's not a dam emergency, it's a dam good opportunity to build a dam good nursery.
1 month ago
Banks be like: "We have 20 AC units running 24/7, but please save the planet by not taking a receipt." 😂
1 month ago
Me trying to out-therapy my therapist by becoming their therapist's therapist. It's theraption.
1 month ago
Me trying to give wholesome advice to my toxic friend and then getting betrayed. So now I'm just like 🐸
1 month ago
When your selfie game goes from 💅 to 😬 real quick because you sent it to the wrong number. Sorry, wrong number! 😂
1 month ago
Me, an intellectual, waiting for someone to invite me to their party after I say "If anyone needs me I'll be in the library later."
1 month ago
When your guests arrive and you gotta bring out the fancy nuggs and ketchup pillows 😂
1 month ago
Me trying to peel a lemon like an orange so I don't have to cut it 🍋
1 month ago
Fixing a leaky boat? Forget flex tape. The best seal is always at hand. Just don't drink seawater. You'll be peeing forever. 🌊
1 month ago
PETA when a fish eats another fish: 👁️👄👁️
1 month ago
Teacher: If you don't study hard you won't be successful. Me and the boys 10 years later: thriving in our niche expertise 😂
1 month ago
When your kid thinks your office is a circus and then realizes it isn't 🤡