Immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in, but only one works. 😂
Immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in, but only one works. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
138
When your hallucinations start hallucinating about hallucinating. It's hallucinations all the way down. 😂
When your hallucinations start hallucinating about hallucinating. It's hallucinations all the way down. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
162
When you realize you're part of the Empire and lose all the time. 😭
When you realize you're part of the Empire and lose all the time. ๐Ÿ˜ญ
1 year ago
76
Me after forgetting why I went into the kitchen, grabbing a soda and chilling on the couch, just to realize my diabetic gf is dying in the other room because I forgot her insulin in the fridge 😂
Me after forgetting why I went into the kitchen, grabbing a soda and chilling on the couch, just to realize my diabetic gf is dying in the other room because I forgot her insulin in the fridge ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
76
When you accidentally order your rifle from Wish.com
When you accidentally order your rifle from Wish.com
1 year ago
149
Europe: *Struggling to build a basic website*. USA: *Owns the entire internet* 😂
Europe: *Struggling to build a basic website*. USA: *Owns the entire internet* ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
70
When the government's anti-terrorism campaign accidentally targets everyone.  So, if you're carrying a camera, a laptop, a cell phone, or a suitcase...you might just be a terrorist.  Don't forget the cookies!🍪
When the government's anti-terrorism campaign accidentally targets everyone. So, if you're carrying a camera, a laptop, a cell phone, or a suitcase...you might just be a terrorist. Don't forget the cookies!๐Ÿช
1 year ago
72
When you take political commentary to the EXTREME 🤣 This RV owner isn't subtle about their opinions! #PoliticalHumor #ObamaEra #Conspiracy
When you take political commentary to the EXTREME ๐Ÿคฃ This RV owner isn't subtle about their opinions! #PoliticalHumor #ObamaEra #Conspiracy
1 year ago
77
She said yes!💍…to never taking my calls again. 😂
She said yes!๐Ÿ’โ€ฆto never taking my calls again. ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
142
When you're Hitler's bodyguard and you hear a BZZZZAP outside his door at 3 AM: 👁️👄👁️
When you're Hitler's bodyguard and you hear a BZZZZAP outside his door at 3 AM: ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ
1 year ago
70
Me trying to find a sperm bank that also has frozen yogurt: 🍦🤰
Me trying to find a sperm bank that also has frozen yogurt: ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿคฐ
1 year ago
72
When you are the only one at the party with an invitation 😂
When you are the only one at the party with an invitation ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
146
Making jokes about dead babies = bad. Actually making dead babies = okay. 🤔 So, what's the difference again? 💀
Making jokes about dead babies = bad. Actually making dead babies = okay. ๐Ÿค” So, what's the difference again? ๐Ÿ’€
1 year ago
157
Facebook's security check be like: "Prove you're not a robot by typing 'humping grandchildren'"
Facebook's security check be like: "Prove you're not a robot by typing 'humping grandchildren'"
1 year ago
90
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. 
THUNDERSTORMS 
6 times less likely to happen in a kitchen 😂
Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women. THUNDERSTORMS 6 times less likely to happen in a kitchen ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 year ago
120