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Me, explaining to my family why I named my stomach "Sir Loin of Beef" after they asked who keeps leaving bite marks in the roast.
1 month ago
They were too big to fail, right? RIGHT?! ๐ญ
1 month ago
When your parking ticket appeal is so good, they have no choice but to dismiss it ๐. "In my defense, your honor, I am a silly goose" is the new legal precedent we all needed. โ๏ธ
1 month ago
When you're the highest-paid engineer, but your fashion sense is still in debug mode ๐
1 month ago
When your mom plays Radiohead's No Surprises during pregnancy and now you have an emotional attachment to alcohol.
1 month ago
Fred and Daphne's bedroom adventures are always a mystery ๐๏ธ๐
1 month ago
Me working so my cat can live their best life ๐
1 month ago
When you get a full ride for throwing a football๐ but end up making more investing in stonks๐
1 month ago
Back in my day we had so many eggs and toilet paper, we TP'd and egged our enemies' houses. Now you kids just argue on Twitter and TikTok ๐
1 month ago
Me trying to explain to my mom that one missed class wonโt make me homeless ๐
1 month ago
When you use "etc." because you are Sheldon Cooper and ran out of space-time to list all the examples in the universe ๐
1 month ago
Meanwhile, Americans be like: "10 degrees? That's jacket weather! 30 degrees? That's shorts and t-shirt weather!" ๐
1 month ago
Me pretending to care while my grandma is dying but I have a physics midterm tomorrow ๐ญ
1 month ago
When basic biology goes against your belief system ๐
1 month ago
Disney be like: "We're committed to diversity and accurate representation." ๐