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When you leave your wallet at home after a big grocery shopping ๐
1 year ago
143
Me trying to be smooth at the checkout and failing miserably ๐
1 year ago
111
When your flight instructor says "practice your emergency landings anywhere" ๐โ๏ธ๐ชฆ
1 year ago
140
Facebook board meeting: "Mark, Google+ is taking all our users! What do we do?!"
Mark: "๐ Fuck up the chat system. ๐"
1 year ago
213
Immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in, but only one works. ๐
1 year ago
205
When your hallucinations start hallucinating about hallucinating. It's hallucinations all the way down. ๐
1 year ago
236
When you realize you're part of the Empire and lose all the time. ๐ญ
1 year ago
112
Me after forgetting why I went into the kitchen, grabbing a soda and chilling on the couch, just to realize my diabetic gf is dying in the other room because I forgot her insulin in the fridge ๐
1 year ago
120
When you accidentally order your rifle from Wish.com
1 year ago
214
Europe: *Struggling to build a basic website*. USA: *Owns the entire internet* ๐
1 year ago
106
When the government's anti-terrorism campaign accidentally targets everyone. So, if you're carrying a camera, a laptop, a cell phone, or a suitcase...you might just be a terrorist. Don't forget the cookies!๐ช
1 year ago
109
When you take political commentary to the EXTREME ๐คฃ This RV owner isn't subtle about their opinions! #PoliticalHumor #ObamaEra #Conspiracy
1 year ago
116
She said yes!๐โฆto never taking my calls again. ๐
1 year ago
201
When you're Hitler's bodyguard and you hear a BZZZZAP outside his door at 3 AM: ๐๏ธ๐๐๏ธ
1 year ago
97
Me trying to find a sperm bank that also has frozen yogurt: ๐ฆ๐คฐ