When your kid thinks your office is a circus and then realizes it isn't ๐Ÿคก
1 month ago
Me, explaining to my family why I named my stomach "Sir Loin of Beef" after they asked who keeps leaving bite marks in the roast.
1 month ago
They were too big to fail, right? RIGHT?! ๐Ÿ˜ญ
1 month ago
When your parking ticket appeal is so good, they have no choice but to dismiss it ๐Ÿ˜‚. "In my defense, your honor, I am a silly goose" is the new legal precedent we all needed. โœ๏ธ
1 month ago
When you're the highest-paid engineer, but your fashion sense is still in debug mode ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
When your mom plays Radiohead's No Surprises during pregnancy and now you have an emotional attachment to alcohol.
1 month ago
Fred and Daphne's bedroom adventures are always a mystery ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Me working so my cat can live their best life ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
When you get a full ride for throwing a football๐Ÿˆ but end up making more investing in stonks๐Ÿ“ˆ
1 month ago
Back in my day we had so many eggs and toilet paper, we TP'd and egged our enemies' houses. Now you kids just argue on Twitter and TikTok ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Me trying to explain to my mom that one missed class wonโ€™t make me homeless ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
When you use "etc." because you are Sheldon Cooper and ran out of space-time to list all the examples in the universe ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Meanwhile, Americans be like: "10 degrees? That's jacket weather! 30 degrees? That's shorts and t-shirt weather!" ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Me pretending to care while my grandma is dying but I have a physics midterm tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜ญ
1 month ago
When basic biology goes against your belief system ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago